My primary audience, and the only reason I continue with online feminism, is young women. Young women today are growing up in a culture in which it is considered bigoted, murderous hatred to question any male person’s gender feels. They are trapped in a faux feminism that doesn’t allow them the language they need to tell the truth about their bodies and lives and the world they live in. I wouldn’t be here today if I hadn’t found feminism, and I will do anything I can to pay forward the life-affirming words of the feminists who came before me. I strongly believe that allying with gender critical transwomen will help me achieve this goal.

My secondary audience is anyone, of any age and (original or current) genital configuration, who has a genuine, sincere interest in exploring gender analysis.

I am not writing for anyone who has no interest in gender analysis. If you believe that sex determines personality, there are other writers (Cordelia Fine, Rebecca Jordan-Young, Elizabeth Hungerford) who address that fallacy. If you believe that personality determines sex, you are a lost cause to me.

I am also not writing for anyone who already understands what the word “gender” means in the feminist context (sexed personalities), and why it is bad (naturalizes the dependence and servitude of women, naturalizes the violence of men). I have no interest in preaching to the choir or participating in a self-congratulatory echo chamber. I have pets and Netflix, so I’m good for filling up my free time, thanks.

I am especially not writing for anyone who already has a feminist gender analysis, who practices ideological totalism with regards to other women’s feminism. I will never pass their purity tests or sign their allegiance oaths. I will not engage with their online stalking and mocking of me. I have a life, which is full of friends and happiness (not to mention pets and Netflix). I didn’t have any time for junior high bullies when I was in junior high, and that was many moons ago.

Back to my original audience: Young women, you do not have to choose between totalist ideologies. Anyone who polices your language and friendships is not your friend or ally. You can build communities that are both honest and nurturing. Search for wisdom anywhere you can, take what wisdom you find and leave the nonsense behind. You have my love, and the sincere hope that you will find a genuine feminism that liberates you, to which you then have the pleasure of contributing. The work is not easy, and it is often heartbreaking. But it needs to be done.